Saturday, January 9, 2010


Lately, Luke has been calling me his "pretty things" like there's many of me :) I think it's hilarious and Mom told me to write that in his baby book because one day I will forget he said that. I mean, even when I ask a question, his reply is yes or no "pretty thing" It's sweet and puts a smile on my face, it actually makes us all crack up laughing. Another thing he is doing lately that is cute, when he says oatmeal it sounds just like he's saying elmo, I have NO idea where he gets that from oatmeal, but it's pretty darn cute too!!!

BUT, lately I have not been me. (I can say this because it is my blog and my journal, I don't need critics, just love) I have been depressed acting and it is just not me at all! I am a positive person, always keeping other people happy, but lately life is getting the best of me. Life at times is just hard, difficult and at times I find myself wondering when it is going to change. When is good going to come in my life?? BUT I have it right here in front of me, I'm just seeing with blinders, dwelling on the negative in my life. I can't do that anymore, I am the rock of this family and not for me, but for them, I must be on my "A" game at all times. Yes, there's many things in life I want, but is it necessarily what God wants? You know He always has the best for us and I believe He is kneading me to be the person He wants me to be. My wants might not necessarily be His Will. I just need prayer for understanding my life, understanding why He has me where I am right now. I know life is full of valleys and mountains, right now I might be in a valley, but I'm looking forward to standing on that mountain! I would go into more detail, but it's not necessary, God knows what I am dealing with, He knows my insecurities, wants and needs out of life and He will provide if it's His Will, I just have to be patient!

This weekend we have nothing planned, but cleaning around the house and headed to church tomorrow, it's just too cold to get the kids out right now! The one thing I know is right in my life, is that I would not want to be anywhere but with my 3 boys God sent to me and that is the one thing I am rejoicing right now!!!!

Y'all have a blessed weekend!



Elizabeth said...

Hoep your spirits get better!! Have a fun time with your family this weekend, and at church tomorrow! :-)

LizBeyer said...

I know just how you feel. The last year has been such a bitter sweet year for our family. Toby's birth was one of the best moments of my life and it happened durring one of the hardest times in my life. With everything that has happened to us, I try to remember that God's Perspective is different that ours. I think of when I take Chase to get shots.. It hurts him so bad, he cries, screams, and cant imagine anything worse at that moment. But I know that I am doing that to him for his own good, for his protection; but there is no way I could explain that to him. So just remember, no matter how bad it hurts, God can see something in that pain that no matter how hard we try, we will just never understand. I love ya girl!

Candice said...

Hey sweet girl!!! I will be praying for you! Sometimes God has to get us to a point where we literally just stop and run to Him! He is the only one that can provide the "internal" things we need that involve struggles and insecurities!!! I love you girl!

Candice Pair said...

Hey Katie! I will be praying for you, too! I think we all go through times like that. I know I have...even when there is nothing to be unhappy about. I agree with Can...I think that sometimes God just breaks us so that we run to him and remember the most important thing...Him.

Laura said...

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. About 3.5 years ago, I had a meltdown and had to seek counseling. Depression is not fun and some people don't take it seriously. But by God's grace, I got through that valley and even though it truly was one of the hardest and darkest times of my life, I am better for the journey. Hugs!